And there's a kind of grief that comes with it too. It feels like losing part of myself and losing something I love. Because I can still like a thing, and rewatch it, but there's a spark that's gone. It's never going to be that intense again. And I mourn that. I guess it's mourning the person I'm not anymore, the person who latched so strongly onto this thing that isn't My Thing anymore.
And the more conscious I've become of my feelings around fandom, the weirder it's become. I can anticipate when a new fandom is around the corner now. Like... I know I'm hungry for something, but at the same time, lamenting that I'll be moving on even before it's happened. It's weird.
I do something really similar and it's so painful. I binge watched Critical Role in the first three months or so of last year, and when I skimmed my journal for an end of year meme, it was really uncomfortable to read again how I felt - hyperaware of how it was consuming me, and of the fact that I was shortly going to lose that - and it still impacts my enjoyment of Critical Role even now. :(
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2019-04-19 10:57 am (UTC)I do something really similar and it's so painful. I binge watched Critical Role in the first three months or so of last year, and when I skimmed my journal for an end of year meme, it was really uncomfortable to read again how I felt - hyperaware of how it was consuming me, and of the fact that I was shortly going to lose that - and it still impacts my enjoyment of Critical Role even now. :(
[hugs]